Absurd Things


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the first triceratopolis album!
recorded at my old apartment in philly.


released 15 March 2013

produced by edward spinelli
album art by: rachel at ohhinaifu.tumblr.com
dedicated to my fallen friend, thao nguyen
special thanks to all my influences, friends, and family



all rights reserved


feeds for this album, this artist
Track Name: Absurd Things
i tend to sing about very absurd things
it makes me take myself a bit less
seriously everybody
needs to lighten up
i tend to sing about stupid shit like
how to blow up moon or something
seriously everybody
needs to lighten up

lighten up
just try to laugh it off
i need to take my own advice
if i want to have a decent time
i've been treating myself like a court case
taking everything on with a straight face
and that isn't like me at all
Track Name: All My Friends Have Cameras
you're taking pictures in the park
and I'm not there
i understand that i would just be
standing around awkwardly

i just wanna be included
but i have no money to spend

all my friends
have cameras
nice cameras
all my friends
have cameras
i have my
phone camera

i'll just ask you to take
more pictures of me
so i can look at myself on the internet

why can't i just be artsy like all of my closest friends
i'd need to take a loan out to be artsy like my friends
Track Name: (I Will Never Be A) Cool Skater
i've been skateboarding on and off for years
pro skater used to be one of my dream careers
i got the basics down like how to push and turn
but all the tricks became impossible to learn

i've studied every single trick tip
but i still can't seem to land a kickflip
maybe this isn't meant for me
maybe this board is not for me

and then i broke my arm going down a ramp,
i fell real hard
i heard a loud snap and it hurt real bad,
everyone was looking at me as i screamed
the bmx bikers laughed,
the inline skaters laughed,
cause nobody saw me fall off the ramp
my dad came to pick me up in his car,
i went to the ER
and got a cast on my arm
Track Name: I'm Upgrading Myself!!
I'm installing socials skills
I'm removing hate
i'm taking everything thats wrong with me
and making them great
diagnosing my mind for personality flaws
making me more popular and much better off

my mind is out of date
i'm due for an upgrade

i'm upgrading myself
i'm upgrading myself
Track Name: Half Human / Half Mockingbird
i'm a fusion of bird and man
my mouth is a beak
and these wings, they aren't hands
i want to be myself now i never can
how did this happen
this wasn't my plan

i tend to sound exactly like you
try to take it as flattery

half human
half mocking bird
it's not that cool
it's fucking absurd
these chirps are not my voice
and i'm left without a choice
half human
half mocking bird

i can only imitate
i can never just create
i guess i must accept this fate

that's fucking absurd
Track Name: Enough Of This Dimension
maybe i just need a change of scenery
cause everything here is starting to get to me
i need something a little more
or parallel
i can't find it
but i know i will

i've had enough of this dimension
it isn't holding my attention
so i now i think its time to ditch it
i've had enough of this dimension
it isn't holding my attention
and no i don't think that i'll miss it

somewhere thats just a bit more colorful
or somewhere that i can be more powerful
or just something a little more

this dimension's less than perfect
let's just end this, its not worth it
Track Name: World Limbo Champion
i'm the world limbo champion
i didn't know that i was playing it
over you, but even so
how low will i go?

i thought it would be simple
but i knew better than that
cause nothing ever is
and thats a cliché fact

i've never been this way
just trying to get laid
it's not my normal self
(i forget my normal self)

so i'll just keep on going lower
underneath myself again
its hard to tell how low i am
when i don't know where the fucking bar is set

how low can i go?
like hell i wanna know!
so i'll have to let you go
i should have long ago

still the world reigning champion
but i'm looking toward retirement
my back is always fucking hurting now
so thank's a lot its been fun
Track Name: Claws Claws Claws
i was born with these hands
as a boy as a man
i always thought
that they could be bit sharper

you're my best friend
i need a favor
grab a sharp knife or a cleaver
cut off these hands
and replace them with claws

claws claws claws!
replace my hands with
claws claws claws!
replace my hands with
claws claws claws!
replace my hands with claws!

i know its scary (scary)
i know its tough (so tough)
but you're my friend
slice through my cuffs
i need your help (your help)
to make this true (this true)
i'd do it myself
but i need you
Track Name: Doctor Chomp M.D.
I'm not feeling too well
i think i'm catching a cold
i don't need medical help
at least that's what i am told
they say the doctor nearby
is an evil mastermind
frustration that he can't hide
insatiable appetite

the only doctor in town
he has a blood stained coat
and both his hands are replaced
with giant metal claws

doctor chomp md
he's not a friend to you or me

a fucking doctor that eats
the patients that he can't treat
its almost way too absurd
the strangest thing that you've heard
and now my cold's getting worse
maybe the stories are fake
if i don't make it alive
i hope he likes the way i taste
Track Name: I Wanna Be A Psychic
i will awaken my third eye
i will not fail
i will have access to your mind
and when i do

i won't use my powers for evil
at least not at the start

i wanna be psychic
i wanna read all of your minds
i wanna be a psychic
i wanna transcend space and time
i wanna exercise my mind
I wanna transcend space and time

got the idea from pokémon
i'll admit
that i'm a rip off of sabrina
but i swear
Track Name: I'm Not Scared Of The Unknown
i'm not scared of monsters that might hunt me
i'm not scared of ghost that cannot touch me

but i'm afraid of bears
i thank that's pretty fair
they're wild animals
if they killed you they wouldn't care
plus they're also real
they have fur that i could feel
if i wasn't afraid of them

don't be afraid of imaginary things
cause they aren't there and i don't think they'll ever be
i focus my paranoia on things that i can see
like people, like cash, like the world in front of me

i'm not scared of spirits that can haunt me
Track Name: Constellations Are BULLSHIT
i think that space is pretty cool
but i don't agree with everything
i have a problem with the stars
who the hell do they think they are

telling me that my day will be good
telling me that my life will be bad
if a star had a telepathic mind
it could tell me then how to life my life

constellations are bullshit
you know this
who cares about stick figures in the sky
constellations are bullshit
you know this
a bunch of stars aren't gonna run my life

aries is stupid
taurus is stupid
gemini is stupid
cancer is stupid
leo is stupid
virgo is stupid
libra is stupid
scorpio is bullshit!
sagittarius leave me alone
capricorn leave me alone
aquarius leave me alone
pisces just go home
Track Name: Shirt Of Fate (Of Destiny)
lime green and black
how hard is that
i'm on a search
for the perfect shirt

i'll scour the internet
until my both of my eyes are bleeding
i'm not stopping 'till i find you
will ever fucking find you
i'll remain diligent
until my t-shirt money is spent
i'm not stopping 'till i find you
will i ever fucking find you

my shirt of fate
my shirt of fate
my shirt of fate
…of destiny

na na na etc.

the stars aligned that day
a single listing on ebay
i can't believe i found you yeah
i can't believe i found you yeah
my size, one bid
15 bucks, i better win
i can't believe i found you yeah
i can't believe i found you yeah
Track Name: Hi Fives Are Mandatory
i wanna meet the guy that invented the hi five
he caused our entire culture to grow and to thrive
its a wonderful gesture that makes everybody smile
world leaders would get along if they tried it once in awhile

and if i was the president of this nation
i'd make hi fives mandatory without question

so the next time you see your friend
or the next time you see your enemy
give them an awesome hi five just for me
Track Name: Greetings From Triceratopolis!!
i send you greetings from triceratopolis
its an awesome place with plenty of space
for the dinosaurs to dance
i've only been here for about a week or two
but i got no doubt i'm gonna scream it loud
there's super cool stuff to do!

just don't feed the animals
just don't feed the animals

theres no place that's quite like triceratopolis
i seen the world at least part of it
and this is the best yet
last week only three people became a dinosaurs lunch
accidents happen but i have some advice
for you to avoid the crunch
Track Name: Absurd Things Part Two
well it seems we're at an impasse
even though i know this won't last
cause all mediocre things must come to an end
and i do not mean to sound
like i'm not feeling proud
about the way i am or what i've accomplished

i'm keeping things lighthearted
because that's how i started
and now i cannot bear to take myself at all seriously

all these absurd things are getting to me
all these absurd things are bumming me out
these absurd things are too absurd
it might be time to lighten up

i'm sure by now you see it clearly
i'm only comfortable with silly
cause i can't begin to understand myself

all these absurd things are getting to me
all these absurd things are getting old